Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Coming in October: Shocktober





Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Martyn Lewis and the #SaveCNHQ crisis

666 - Pierre Branco's symbol, meaning "the end of the golden age", also perceived as "123" (December 3) or "312" (3 December).

Invaders, 9:55
"Leave the remnants of the channel, nicknamed "CN HQ" by a Portuguese viewer, to the devils, make Diogo Corral rich and spread awful dubs amongs the eyes and ears of Portugal along with bad channel management, demoting the learning of the English language."

All communications of the CN PT team start and end with the Spanish anthem, whereas the opposite groups who want it and more content in English have communications starting and ending with the British anthem. The opposition has once hijacked the BBC, nearly repeating the moment where Diana died.

"This is BBC Television from London. Normal programming has been suspended, and we now join Martyn Lewis in the news studio."
"This is BBC Television from London. Cartoon Network in Portugal is now in Portuguese. Millions of children are in famine due to the loss of a channel."

"Millions of children in Portugal are remaining indoors and will have the worst Christmas of their lives. "CN HQ", as a local viewer called it, led viewers in strict diseases. Portugal is now the worst country to speak the English language. The Spanish invaders have also shut down the Portuguese Broadcasting Corporation."

"I miss Regular Show and Last of the Summer Sustenance Pills. I am sick and have no choice." - me talking to a BBC microphone

PBC Television was transmitting Regular Show in the show's original form - PBC Television wasn't imposed to edits. According to Martyn Lewis, "even the Braga Broadcasting System shut down."

"Portugal, a country which once had twenty-four languages, has just been reduced to one. What used to be a multicultural place eventually turned to a single-cultural disaster. Richard Atkins, BBC News, London."

"MARTYN LEWIS: This just in, a certain "Matthew Harris" is helping the Braga Broadcasting System to recover itself from the loss of multiculturalism in Portugal. The first few episodes of the new series of The Hard Sell were sent to the broadcaster via Cornwall and, as expected, will air after the watershed."

Insider info from Martyn Lewis, who returned to the news with the CN HQ crisis nearly two years ago. He works at the BBC and the BBS just for the sake of it.

"This is BBC Television from London. Our scheduled programming has been cancelled to show further developments on the #SaveCNHQ crisis."

or "if CN PT was a massive international news event"

Monday, September 28, 2015

In two days from now

Wednesday will mark 666 days since The Event.

CN HQ was replaced by an endless showing of The Quiz Broadcast.

But it's time to stop.

CN PT (The Quiz Broadcast) was earning ratings and money every day.

But this needs to stop.


Thursday, September 17, 2015

Turner vs. Ofcom vs. Roskomnadzor vs. the LGBT community

BlooMac on Toonzone said that, as a birthday surprise, they skipped "Jeff Wins".

Clarence has wasted his potential.

Nowadays if you want to look for hidden LGBT messages, it will cause uproar in the native country of the show and European feeds will eventually ban it.

Turner decided to skip the episode, doing a request both did not want or probably wanted. As if the shows had hidden sexual messages.

A sign of the times?

Sunday's ratings:
Yesterday's ratings:
CN PT is nowhere to be seen.
Within a few days, CN PT returned to initial positions.
A sign of the times.

EDIT: Yesterday's ratings:
My hopes turned down.

The strangest of dreams

I went out with artnerfy to do something related with the Clarence episode "Goldfish Follies". Not sure what it was, exactly.

Then I fell down on what I thought was a shortcut, which actually led to a slide to the pool.

Then, "It's 5 o'clock. I'm going to watch Clarence with artnerfy". Then, in an ironic twist, "Shame that there are no CN HQ streams on the internet".

Then someone gave me an illegal link to watch it, which I refused.

Cartoon Network Europe: 22 Years Without Frontiers

dun dun DUN DUN
dun dun DUN DUN
tan tan TAN TAN
tan tan TAN ATN
dun dun DUN DUN
dun dun DUN DUN
tan tan TAN TAN
tan tan TAN TAN

That above was just the written version of the 90s Jeux Sans Frontières theme. An old European game show that was cancelled in 1999, featuring teams from different European countries.

But still, 22 years ago today, Cartoon Network began appearing to all of Europe via cable and satellite.

It was a time of democracy all across European screens. Cable and satellite helped expand this revolution.

In Portugal, demand for the English language grew.

CN HQ was here to stay.

Then came CN PT.

The invaders must leave soon.

CN HQ, though still alive, is fondly remembered.

CN HQ is love. CN HQ is life.

22 years is too much,yet still acceptable.

Monday, September 14, 2015

CN HQ - September 2015

04:00 - Regular Show
04:50 - Uncle Grandpa
05:10 - Adventure Time
05:35 - Steven Universe
06:00 - The Amazing World of Gumball
06:20 - Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu
06:45 - Ben 10
07:30 - Regular Show
07:55 - Dragons: Riders of Berk
08:20 - Total Drama: Pahkitew Island
08:40 - Johnny Test
09:30 - Steven Universe
09:50 - Uncle Grandpa
10:15 - Teen Titans GO!
10:40 - Regular Show
11:25 - Adventure Time
12:10 - Steven Universe
12:35 - Total Drama: World Tour
13:00 - Ben 10: Omniverse
13:45 - Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu
14:10 - Matt Hatter ChroniclesHospital of Hearts
14:30 - Teen Titans GO!
15:20 - Clarence
15:40 - Regular Show
16:30 - Adventure TIme
16:50 - The Amazing World of Gumball
17:15 - Uncle Grandpa
17:40 - Steven Universe

Every night

If you watched CN HQ constantly, you would say that before going to bed:

CN HQ is love

CN HQ is life

This is my channel

This is my lifestyle

This is all that I can see

CN HQ is love

CN HQ is life

But then one day

The channel loses viewers

And left me without choice

CN HQ is love

CN HQ is life

More on the rebrand

As you may have noticed, the text is now in a shade of purple. (fits in because it's based on the CN color scheme)

The biggest challenge yet is the rebrand. Based on a meme which started a mere eleven months before the switch, I've decided to temporarily rebrand the blog as "CN HQ is love, CN HQ is life".

I've stayed without the channel for nearly two years. I seem to be entering a timeloop and now that Phineas and Ferb is over, nothing worth watching is on.

And with the exciting news on CN HQ's hypothetical return (which may fall into oversight), the rebrand will be finalized within October.

Missing Bumper Watch 2015

Thirteen months ago, I made a post about missing bumpers. Eventually one of those bumpers was found. One year on, it's time to revisit the post because let's see the developments of a quest as huge as this one.

1: Cartoon Network Cinema bumper, ca. 2002.
Technically you're looking at the Eastern European version of it, but, in case you're a bit too bored, click on the image. In case you can't, the lettering above read "CINEMA" and Cow was apparently holding an actual torch.
2: Kaleidoscope-themed bumper, featuring various HB stars. Used around late 2004 or so. At the end, we see the CN logo, but with two of the letters swapped (CAROTON NETWORK). Later, it changes to the correct text (CARTOON NETWORK). Used on Boomerang as late as 2011, just by editing the end. Here's a still from it, taken from a 2004 CN Scandinavia promo video:
3: Tom and Jerry-themed bumper, also set to classical music. I only remember seeing it on Boomerang, and the look was reminiscent of the 2002 "Blocks" look. NO SCREENSHOT
4: Promo for the 2004 Christmas marathon called "Blocks Around the Clocks". It had C's rotating in squares, also reminiscent of the look CN was using at the time. The background was white. NO SCREENSHOT
5: Promo for the 2005 Christmas block. Don't remember the name, but it had a song by The White Stripes (Hardest Button to Button, where we see the band multiplying in streets). The promo looked a bit like that music video, and it featured scenes from a show with a character appearing four times, along with the four-note repetitive tune played by a guitar riff. NO SCREENSHOT, MUSIC VIDEO, IF YOU WANT TO GET AN IDEA OF HOW IT WAS:
6: Bumpers and promos for Cartoon Carnival, hosted by a Bloo impersonator. Used in the fall of 2006. FostersFriend doesn't have those bumpers...
7: Footage from VBirds: Perfect. Thanks to a Danish YouTube user called BratzSamuel2005, he posted a promo for what seemed to be VBirds: Perfect, as we can see two Dance Dance Revolution-esque stages and what appears to be the character selector. No, it wasn't the result of a fever dream, the only time I did watch it was when I was sick. The promo doesn't specify if it was VBirds: Perfect yet the uploader said that CN Scandinavia aired it twice a day, in minute-long episodes. I also got credited in the Lost Media Wiki, and I'm here to confirm it.
8: HiHi Puffy AmiYumi promo from late 2005. It was a generic promo and it was part of a series called CN Muzik. Unfortunately, it was the only one in the series and was a music video with the music being the HHPAM theme song. The music video had a "CN MUZIK" bug. The following image is partly accurate:
9: This bumper was eventually found, part of a video dated 2002. 2002! I was 4 back then and this was when CN HQ, now fully-independent, was still using the European Powerhouse era! 51 seconds in:
10: Footage from Toon FM. I can only find a British promo for it. It was set in Tokyo and was hosted by Brak (according to the promo) and Johnny Bravo. I don't remember more, but I thought that it wasn't the European JBVO (without the requests part and set in Tokyo). Does anyone have footage of the block itself? Here's a promo:

Also, there was a limited local radio station of the same name, which I initially thought that it only played CN-related music but actually got around airing stuff from artists like Vengaboys. The station aired for a brief period of time in 1999 in London and Manchester. If anyone from those areas of the UK is looking at my blog, please, I beg you: send-me MP3 files of recordings of this ill-fated station at
11: Footage from Viva Las Bravo 2005. I liked the bumpers used at the start of breaks. As the Lost Media Wiki points out: "Similarly, a spin-off of the spin-off itself would be "Viva Las Bravo", aired as a summer programming block in certain European variants of Cartoon Network in 2005 and 2006. Every day Johnny would announce three cartoons for voting through either email or to then be shown the next day for two hours, while he would also constantly appear in commercial breaks either cracking jokes or answering hilarious emails and phone calls. Very little of this block has resurfaced either besides an incomplete promo."
By the way, I only recall seeing bumpers used at the start and the end of breaks, which looked like a puppet theater, with the main difference being the fact that they were just character photos glued to a stick.
12: Footage from Viva Las Bravo 2006. Only one promo is known to exist on the Internet, and is incomplete:
13: Cartoon Network website promo from 2002-ish. It featured stills from the first European design and the Play section from the Brazilian website!
14: Footage from Pick Your Fridays, but in high quality. CartoonNetworkRulzz has some low quality clips and more can be found on the slow VBOX7.
15: Promos for the various incarnations of Cartoon 60. Several promos already exist in other languages.
Does anybody remember the first Powerpuff 60 logo? It consisted of the words POWERPUFF 60 in the Impact font and there was a yellow thing behind it. I might get the colors wrong. I may have found that bumper but still, I must check harder.
16: Series of promos for CN shows. The only one I can find is the one for Robotboy, but I assume that there were HiHi Puffy AmiYumi and Camp Lazlo versions of it. To see the Robotboy bumper on YouTube (because VBOX7 is very slow outside of Bulgaria), search for "Robotboy bumper OldMcBarney". Here's how it looked like:

17: CN bumper with footage from the Dexter's Laboratory episode "Photo Finish", that had the CN logo at the end, with the T being replaced by a 7 (a reference to the car from the same episode whose license plate read "7IN7").
18: Any descriptions on the Mojo Network bumpers from CN CEE in October 2002? Here's my take on the logo using Paint:
19: Any descriptions or footage on the CN Toon Tour bumpers from 2002? It was hosted by the Mayor and Ms. Bellum on a bus (according to footage of it that used to be on the internet six years ago, sadly it was in Polish). The bug on the bottom-left consisted of the letters "TT" inside a badge. NO SCREENSHOT
20: Full promo for, aired in the spring of 2006. Only the first and last seconds of it are known to exist on the internet. Full versions of it exist recorded off CN CEE, yet featured icons depicting characters of CN shows that CN HQ didn't air at the time.
21: I've never seen this promo, any ideas on what was it about? Pick Your Fridays again?
22: Footage from Sock TV, 2009-2011. Did it have any bumpers? My mind could be playing tricks, it probably had. You can find 2011 episodes on YouTube.
23: 2005 schedule promo featuring King Arthur's Disasters, Ed, Edd n Eddy and (probably) Dexter's Laboratory. It was used to promote those shows as part of the early afternoon schedule. The promo was unbranded.
24: 2006 afternoon schedule promo, featuring the "clothes hanging on a wire" theme.
25: Any Ben 10-related footage from the original show, incluiding the premiere promo for it.
26: Speaking of premiere promos, any premiere promos for any CN show, on any European feed.
27: Toon Awards. CN HQ had that in 2005 (at least), but I don't remember it. Here's a picture that features the logo:

28: Something similar from 2007 that had clouds à la Toon Awards. According to Belgian user Red Arrow :D from the Toonzone forums, the winner was Ed, Edd n Eddy and they aired the show all day.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015


New, temporary kids channel to be operated by Turner exclusively on DSTV throughout the entirety of December/January.

We will cover this Africa-centric channel. Perfect for Turner to start putting CN HQ back on the European market and kick CN RSEE's arse for good.

Monday, September 7, 2015